If I Could Give Advice To My Younger Self,
I Would Say the Following Three Messages…
1. Socioeconomic status does not define you
2. If an opportunity scares you or makes you nervous, Lean Into It
3. Choose a life partner that will grow with you
How many times have you heard yourself saying the words, “If I were 29 again and knew what I know now… I would be so awesome!”? I have said those words quite often, and more often than not, I have meant them. The reality is that I cannot go back. However, every chance I get I do try to impart my wisdom on the younger generation.
Socioeconomic status does not define you.
Growing up with five siblings, a blue-collar father and a stay at home mother, finances in our house were always tight. There was never enough money to go around even as my Dad took on odd jobs to supplement his factory worker income. I did not have a lot of the material things my friends had growing up e.g. trendy clothes (how I wanted those Calvin Klein jeans), summer vacations at the beach, etc. We were poor and I knew it. For me, I mistakenly equated poverty with skill and ability and somewhere along the way my self-esteem was impacted. My mind convinced me that I was not as smart or shouldn’t go out for the student council and so forth because I was poor and perhaps wouldn’t be “good enough”. That little voice followed me all through high school and into college. Yes, money does limit some of the things you can buy and may prohibit you from taking a vacation or shopping at Abercrombie. But poverty has nothing to do with intelligence, capability, attitude and overall drive to succeed. The key lesson is to not let anyone or anything define who you are and what you can do.
If an opportunity scares you or makes you nervous, then Lean Into It.
Eleanor Roosevelt said it well when she was quoted as saying “Do one thing every day that scares you”. Sheryl Sandberg has generated millions of dollars for her Lean In non-profit organization by authoring a bestseller using this same premise. That little voice in our head or that queasy feeling in our stomach can actually be telling us that there is an opportunity that is not to be missed! Looking back on some of the opportunities I have had in my life, there are many times when I let the little voice win and later wished I hadn’t listened. There are a handful of missed opportunities that I lament to this day. Doing things that make us uncomfortable actually challenges us to get outside of our comfort zone and to grow by learning and trying new things. It can also help us prove to ourselves that we can do something we thought we couldn’t. Turning a deaf ear to that little voice is often crucial to expanding our skills, confidence, and capabilities.
Choose a Life Partner that will grow with you.
How many times do we think or say “Aww, how cute”, when we are related a story about a couple that has been married 50+ years and were high school sweethearts? Having been married to my high school sweetheart, I used to hear this sentiment a lot. My younger self believed that this represented the ultimate relationship and that I had chosen well. However, things do not always work out the way we think they will. Having married and divorced my high school boyfriend, my older self now realizes that a husband or partner needs to be someone that can grow with you albeit, emotionally or professionally. A partner also needs to be supportive of you growing even if they chose not to grow at the same pace, or not to grow at all. Let’s face it; at 24 years old, I did not know myself well enough to look for a partner that could grow with me over the years. I know that now.
At times, I really do wish I could “go back” knowing what I know now, however, I do realize that I would not be the person I am today if I hadn’t made a few wrong turns along the way. My sage advice is that you cannot go back, but you can sure plan ahead.
– Shirley L. Paddock, R.Ph. MBA | Senior Director, Next Generation Development, Eli Lilly and Company –
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